Ruby Red

The Truth About Perfection
2001-08-10 19:43:30 (UTC)

tough

John is an awesome guy. I have dreams about him and they
really bother me. I feel as if when I talk to him I tell
him everything and he tells me nothing. I wish he would
tell me how he really feels about me. The thing is, I'm
afraid he won't feel the same way I do. I think he likes
me but I don't really know. If we ever went out, Casey
wouldn't be happy, my parents would act weird, and I
wouldn't know what to do. I think we could do things like
we were, just don't be. I want to tell him so bad, and
half the time I almost do. I do things to get attention
from him and make him jealous but I don't know why. I lie
to him and make up little things to bug him. He gets
annoyed when I talk about other guys but I just can't
control it. My head spins when he and Cassie are
together. She acts like such a little slut. Getting her
belly button peirced, wearing see thru shirts, having her
bra show, etc. I can't stand her for it. She doesn't
understand that what she does like that drives me insane!
If that's what it takes to get his attention, I'm done.
She seems to be mad at me for talking to him and she is so
controlling of him. I guess if she had to choose between
friends or boyfriends, it would be him. Go figure. I need
to think, adios.