In the End
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2001-08-10 16:55:34 (UTC)

A New Chapter

I hear thunder rumbling ominously in the distance, yet the
sky is still the perfect shade of blue and the sun's warm
rays are beating down steadily. It makes me afraid. I
have a slight phobia of driving in the rain.

The first one of us to leave will be gone in two
days...after that, each passing day will leave me with less
and less people to confide in, to turn to, less shoulders
to cry on, less hands to hold, less trouble to get into.
We're all starting completely new chapters of our lives
which are nothing like anything we've known before. Most
of us will be furthering our education...I'll get there
eventually myself, but I have to take care of some family
business first.

I leave in ten days...ten short days which I hope to fill
to the brim with fun and friends and family.

Much of my family is visiting this weekend. My aunt,
uncle, my sister came the other day. It's nice to have
everyone home.

Ten day!!! I'm freaking out...my emotions are pulling me
so many different directions. The idealistic part of my
brain is so excited over this newfound independence, being
able to come and go as I please, meeting new people, having
new experiences. The rational part of me is more skeptical
of my ability to take care of myself...without my mom, I
can't even get up in the morning. Without her, I would
have gone forever without replacing my driver's license, I
would never be on time for anything...perhaps that is
because I know I can lean on her though. I'm hoping once
I'm out on my own, I won't be a complete idiot and I'll
find it in myself to get done what needs to be done. I'm a
smart girl, I just get distracted easily, but I'm sure I
can manage. I'll have to. I'm ready for a new chapter of
my life...the old one was getting pretty boring.

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