myrddyn

reflections from the kiddie pool
2002-11-01 22:07:54 (UTC)

catch-up


All cylinders go for the great baby take-off of 2003.
Ultrasounds all look good. Crib bedding, already
purchased. House still full of crap that needs to go to
make room for baby and baby stuff? Check. Wife that does
not understand the severity of the crap problem? Double-
check.

Also, my wife was very anti-touching for a while. I
probably should have seen this coming. She is someone
already prone to aches and pains, and the aches and pains
of pregnancy have made her virtually untouchable for 2
months. It's a bit stressing, actually. I have heard that
pregnant women are supposed to glow. My wife instead seems
to creak.

She has her heart set on a boy's name and a girl's name.
How did she phrase it the other week? Oh, yes--"I think of
it as an idea I have that you agree with." The truth is
that the names she likes are perfectly acceptable, I really
just want a healthy baby. Name it Bartholamew Barry-
Baggins for all I care. But the principle of the thing
really bugs me, that she really has decided upon these
names with no input from me. So I haven't decided yet how
much of a fuss to make . . . we don't even know the sex
yet, won't until Christmas. You might say why make a fuss
if you don't care that much? The reason is because this is
a pattern of her behavior--making decisions and plans and
assuming that's just all good with me. That stops cold
when it comes to making decisions about our child.

I have also inexplicably been feeling a bit blue this
week. There are some anger issues that I have not been
able to track down, but nothing major. I had a training
crisis in Hapkido. My instructor obviously does not have a
really great grip on some of the history and philosophy of
the art. I suppose I understand that, he's not a supremely
educated guy, and he is working off what his instructors
passed along to him.

But when I get into something, I tend to do a lot of
reading. I feel pretty well-versed in the background and
philosophy of the art, and I also have read books with
techniques and I have started a weekend training session
with a woman in class. When I am motivated, internally my
expectations are high, and they were not being met.

That reached kind of a critical mass Monday night after
class when I brought my concerns to the instructor and he
didn't seem to have a good grasp of what I was trying to
communicate to him. I was a bit unconfortable that there
wasn't a private place I could discuss it with him, and a
second-degree black belt was standing right there. He
chimed in that he would work with me Wednesday on some of
the stuff I was talking about. And sure enough, on
Wednesday he and I spent most of the class not working on
exactly what was being taught to everyone else, but
alternatives more in line with what I believe to be Hapkido
philosophy. We won't be able to work like that every
night, but it felt good to know there are others in class
who understand what I am saying and are willing to help.
Plus, the weekend training sessions will help.1

I am probably going to get for Christmas a membership at
the local YMCA. That's appreciated, because they have a
decent pool and great morning lap hours. I figure it will
be a good year for exercise until the baby is born :) OTOH
my mother totally pooh-pooed the idea of us getting a
camcorder for Christmas. I would love a digital camcorder
since I am fairly technically saavy and could take digital
movie files and drop them onto a DVD and mail them to my
grandmother and sister. She just didn't understand why
that was necessary. She offered us *their* video camera!

Their video camera is circa 1983, basically a VCR that you
carry in a satchel-pack around your shoulder that after
about 20 minutes you just want to drop on the ground
because it feels like a sack of bricks. You connect that
to the video camera itself, which is another gigantic
creature you mount on your shoulder. It practially makes
you look/feel like a borg, and the video quality is also
circa 1983 VHS, i.e. barely better than my cheap webcam.
Why a grandmother would think it is a keen idea to capture
the first moments of her first grandchild on that piece of
crap is beyond me. I thought for sure that she would be
more receptive to the idea given that they dropped a grand
on a digital camera and accessories last year.

Anyway I have to go to an office birthday party now for my
dad and grandfather, both born 11/1. Probably more on this
later, although I realize my records lately of coming back
to this thing regularly hasn't been that great.




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