socalledemopunk

Life according to Luvie..
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2002-11-01 19:52:57 (UTC)

I'm sick...that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!

Dear Diary,
Hello guys. I keep having these weird ass dreams with my
great grandma Lupe in them. She's dead guys. But these
weird dreams never cease. Last night I had a dream where
she came to me, and we were walking together. Then a cell
phone rings and it's her. She looks at the call ID and is
shocked to see her name on it. Through this dream there is
no verbal communication with her. Just...silence...but I
feel like I can read her thoughts. It's quite chilling
because when we both see the call ID, we both think, "But
isn't she dead?"

That leaves me confused. Somehow I feel like she's coming
to me in my dreams because she herself hasn't realized that
she's dead. Isn't that crazy?! But I feel it. I went to go
visit her grave yesterday. I bet you think that is what is
setting all this off. BUT NO IT ISN'T! I have had weird
dreams with her in them all week long.

I miss her like fuck!! I keep feeling that emptiness in me.
That longing. I just want one more hug, one more kiss, one
last convo with her. I want her to run around in her house
and make tortillas. I want all of it back and there is no
rewinding, only in the relapsing memories of my heart. Oh
well.

:: emo tear :: I feel slightly emotional. I think this is
the major source of my depression. Jaime is there offering
me a shoulder to cry on. Charlie is there to worry and love
me like the boyfriend he is. God I love him, and thank god
for him being back in my life.

That's all. I have the flu. Ughie. I a m s o s i c k !
Love always,
Luvie


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