The Muffin Man

My Favorite Courdaroys
2001-08-10 13:45:15 (UTC)

I dont know anymore

Is it wrong that I wanted to throw myself off the roof last
night just to see how bad i would get hurt. Yea i know
thats really sick and how could I even think of doing
that. Thats just it i dont know how i could think of doin

What made me stop from doing was my love for tricia. I
didnt wanna ruin it by possibly hurting myself so we could
never be together again. She means the world to me and if
I did something stupid like that and had ended up killing
myself she would have been heart broken and i couldnt do
that to her. She means to much me. So I didnt even go on
the roof cause it would have been to tempting.

I realized that life is worth living for just one more day
cause their is always someone their that cares even if you
dont realize. I also didnt do it because i love tricia and
i dont want to lose her. I dont even know why i wanted to
do jump off. I probably would of broke something is all
but i still didnt want to take the chance. Its stupid and
I cant believe the notion even crossed my mind.

Why do people feel they need to hurt themselves its so
stupid. Theirs so much ahead in life and we try and throw
it away. Throw everything we have away just to leave this
hell bound world. Is it worth it. Why do so many people
want to die. Cant they see that some things in life are
worth waiting for.

I guess the only thing really keeping me here right now are
tricia and friends.

Okay im gonna go now.

I love you tricia and Ill never hurt you on purpouse

Everyone else