Jaded

Why Me?
2001-08-10 03:56:39 (UTC)

A Confus-ed Mind Talks...

Diary,

Salutations, Diary. How do you do? Myself, you ask? I'm breathing. I'm alive. I'm ... well, that's about it. Oh well. For some reason, I'm feeling unreasonably festive. Well, okay, that's a lie. Me and unreasonably festive don't go in the same sentence together. It's more like, I'm not feeling like dipping myself into a vat of sulphuric acid.
Well, I'm proud of myself, Diary. I am actually now doing my summer work for those damned accelerated classes of mine. Whoo. Hoo.
I don't know if I'm excited about Wednesday or not. That's when I'm going to tutor some guy friend of mine on French. I've never decided if I like him or not. I think that the only reason I ever even CONSIDER liking him is because I feel like I should like SOMEBODY and he's just a convenient name to draw out of the hat, more or less. Who knows? When my mom told me he'd called, I felt all happy and when I called him back, I felt all jumpy. That's probably because I never get or make phone calls to anyone but one person, though.
Which reminds me, I need a life. All I ever do is sit around. It's not like that's all that I WANT to do, but it's all that I CAN do, in my opinion. I don't like to just go out places by myself because I think it would draw attention to me and I hate drawing attention to myself. Unfortunately, my one friend rarely wants to do anything. Not that there are many options, around here. Ah well.
So, Diary, I'm feeling depressed. Kind of a slap-happy depressed. You know, you laugh at things that aren't funny, and then you cry at things that aren't sad. Get the picture? I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. I ALWAYS feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster.
On vacation, I deduced that people are worse than I thought. - And THAT'S pretty bad, considering my general consensus of the majority. There's no way - nor is there any reason - to explain what I want to convey, so I'll stop here.
I'm looking forward to school. Actually, I'm looking forward to not being in my house 24/7. Maybe, as much as I doubt it, maybe I'll have a really good year.
Wish me luck, Diary, and I bid you adieu. And, au revoir aux amis. Sorry, I'm feeling kind of French right now. Well, talk to you all later.
-Eryn