CutAdrinalinRush

A peice of Life
2002-10-30 23:18:44 (UTC)

Pity helps.. Rite?

yano I dont know why im keeping myself so cought up. Trying
to hide everything that means
something to me. Coving up scars that hide who i am inside.
Relieing on friends to keep me
away from knifes. I dont know who i am anymore. being me
isnt as easy as it seems. Trying
to save everyone else, But not saving myself. Its the
people doing it to me. Pushing me
farther and farther off the cliff i wanna stay away from.
I dont know what to do anymore. Im scared. What scares me
the mst is i dont know why im
telling you this. I'v written in many essays about people
waiting for invisable fairys who
turn out to be themselves. The problim is my fairy isnt
coming. Its up to me to save myself. After I save everyone
else.
But im not gonna wait. Im sick of waiting. Scared of
waiting. Sick of laying in hospital
beds because im so damn "sick". Sick of being told i need
help and they have to find it.
But soon enough fiding myself at home with a knife holding
it to my legs and cutting.
Bleeding. Crying. Im scared finding that one person was a
mistake. That i need to take it
back. To die so the pain that person put in me will go
away. Each day more pain comes in
seeing him. But not seeing him brings pain also. Im so
confussed and scared. Crying in self
pity dosnt help much but it sure makes me feel better. Rite?




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