blue_eyes

shots of color
2002-10-30 22:39:58 (UTC)

the life of an sexless beast

i suppose the tittle is a bit strange but i am a bit
strange after all and this is my diary so poo to you. And
that is how i feel right now, like a sexless beast. i met
this guy right, his name is Jeryd and damn is he hot. I
dont mean in the superficial way, even though he falls into
that category too, but he makes me laugh so hard, and boy
can he sing, and he is actually smart. Its been my
experience that guys who are so totally sexy (looks wise)
like he is have no brain whatsever but he said the most
romantic comment is our english class a few days ago. We
had read a story where a nine year old said that he had
fallen in love with this girl and our teacher asked us if
we thought that it was possible that a nine year old could
feel love and well since i'm such a romantic i said yes.
Everyone else in the class was like no they cant because
they aren't developed enough to feel love like adults do.
And out of right field comes Mr. Sexy Brown Eyes and he
says that they can feel adult love even if they dont know
what it is at the time. Is that not the most romantic thing
you ever heard? I just kinda stared at him. And then later
when we were walking down the stairs everyone was trying to
get him to sing a song and i looked back at i was
like "come on jeryd, sing a song" and he started
singing "lean on me". There is just something so sexy about
a guy who has a voice like he does. The kind that sends
shivers up your spine because its so sweet to hear. For me,
there is no bigger turn on than a guy who can sing. They
make me want to melt. And maybe it was just coincidence
that he sang after i said something but i think i am taking
that as an encouraging sign.But, of course, there is a
problem, because my life is shitty like that and there
always has to be a problem. The boy is 20, which is nothing
for most people because they aren't 16! Oh well, age is
just a nmber right? Ya, i'd like to give him my number,
despite the fact that it would be slightly illegal if we
did all i would like to do with that boy. Well illegal for
him, not for me. But that is minor details and i am
argueing with myself on a computer. Yes, that is not a good
sign. But back to my problem. There is this girl in our
class too, and she is really pretty, i'll give her that.
You know the type; blond, thin, slightly fake. Yeah, thats
Lindsey. You could tell by the name, huh. Sorry all you
people who are named Lindsey and aren't ditsy. Well anyway,
when she talks about him it almost seems like they are
close but when he is there it seems like he talks to her
not because he likes her but because he talks to everyone.
And i mean everyone. If he saw a begger on the street i bet
he'd stop to chat because well that is Jeryd and something
else i like about him. So my problem is that i dont know if
i pursue him or not because he has girls falling all over
him and why would i be different? Honestly, i dont think
that i am ugly but i also dont think that i am a beautiful
person either. But a notch in my favor is that i'm not
fake, and i cant help but laugh at people who think that
they have to be for people to like them. So what if your
not the most popular person in school, most of the popular
people are just people who get drunk or high and have sex
with twenty different people. But yet agian, i can think of
popular people who are popular because they are such big
sweethearts that you cant help but be friends with them. I
think Jeryd may be one of those people but ya know i really
cant say. So what i think i will do is keep up and try to
feel my way through this because sometimes not having a
plan and feeling your way through a situation is the best
way to do it.




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