*MS JLYN*

*ALL CRIED OUT OVER U*
2001-08-09 20:50:52 (UTC)

August 9th....UHHH......

Today was the second day of school. It was BORING! I kinda
feel confident about AlgebraIII. I mean, I know as long as
I pay attention in class, then I'll do okay. Anyway, OMG(oh
my gosh) Leroy's daddy talked to my mother today and told
her that I was sleeping with Leroy! When she asked me about
it, all I could do was laugh. Honestly, it was funny to me.
I don't know what to say to it. Like, she didn't really ask
me if I did or anything, but she just said that she didn't
like that fact that I went to Leroy's house and didn't tell
her. I mean, she just really said that I need to move on
with my life and get over Leroy. I understand what she is
saying. I keep telling myself that I do need to let all of
it go. I can't keep holding on to these fantasies in my
head and I can't wait around for him. The cycle is going to
be the same everytime and I'll always end up at square one.
So, Leroy being in my head and maybe my heart....needs to
stop. I can't keep making myself love someone who in
reality doesn't love me back. It's sorta a painful
realization that I've come to, but it's the truth. And I
certainly can't be hurt by that. Nor mad about it! But I
let it all go from this moment on. I know those reading
this out there are probably thinking that I'm outta my
mind, but I'm somewhat fickle and I do change my mind at
the drop of a dime. So, if this all changes...SORRY. But
for the better of me...it shouldn't. But anyway, I've been
scoping out a fella at school. His name is Antonio. He's
cute and all, but I think he is with someone. And to top
that off, Dee's friend likes him. So, I'm in sorta a sticky
situation. Well, I'm not really in one, but it has
potential. I guess I just really want a boyfriend now, so
I'm just looking too hard. I shouldn't even look because
the dudes I find are normally cool at first....then they
aren't. I'll have to let that dude approach me and let
things take their course. Well, I gots to go to work later
today, so I better go do a lil homework and start getting
ready.....*J*