Mrreasneos

invisiblealbino
2002-10-30 05:30:43 (UTC)

shit i cut

lu. i wrote this because i need to vent. i'm sorry about
this. it's about me cutting myself. don't read if you don't
want to know. i don't care if you read or not, i just want
you to know i'm ok. sigh... i'm sorry.


fuck.
i didn't want to. i felt horribly depressed all of a
sudden. i don't know why. i really don't. i flicked off my
parents, screamed a few profanities and slammed my door. i
took this samurai sword/letter opener and cut myself a few
times on my wrist. i don't even remember what the argument
was about. i cut myself and i feel awful about it. i put on
a paper towel wrap on my arm. it's all red.

i hate myself for it. i thought i was cured. i hadn't cut
for weeks since i was with elena. i thought i'd never cut
again. i was wrong. i realize now it's not something i can
cure in a snap.

it hurts.
it hurts really bad.
i see the blood and i don't know how i feel.
i feel better, i hate that i feel better.

i don't know how to solve this. pain begets pain. hate
begets pain. fear begets pain. PAIN!!! AAAAA!!!!

fuck.

i'm sorry to everyone
i'm sorry to myself

~me.




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