Green Leef Turning Gold
2001-08-09 18:05:58 (UTC)

Here I go AGAIN...

Its 11am. Damn this day is going soo slow. Got myself a
nice headache, same one I had yesterday. Stupid pms. So I
wish I had something really profound to say today. But I
don't. Just felt like coming on here to bitch a little. My
boyfriend went to work, my son is building block castles in
the living room, and I am sitting here. Writting. Typing.
Nearly complaining about whats bothering me. One of my best
friends just had a baby. I should be happy for her. I ought
to be grateful, that her 7wk premature baby is doing well.
But all I can think about is the babies I don't have. I am
jealous. I am so goddamned selfish. I named this
diary "Green Leef Turning Gold" because I wanted it to help
me move on and be happier. I know its only my second entry.
But I don't feel good about writting here. WHAT I feel is
like I want to just jump out the window. LOL. Yea yea I
know that won't solve anything, but it sounds good when I
say it. Oh well. I really am not a bitchy person normally.
I am just tired. T I R E D.

Just one day I wish I could sleep late or stay up all
night. My boyfriend does whatever he wants. And normally I
don't mind, but I need a break, before I BREAK. Gonna have
to finish this entry another time perhaps. I've got some
things to do today, that I've been putting off.