2001-01-27 23:55:50 (UTC)

Dear Diary, Ok, you may think m..

Dear Diary,
Ok, you may think m crazy for sharing my life with a bunch
of strangers but im doing it. My name is Paige and I ive in
Southern california. I love it here, except that whole
energy thing. Well, for starters my parents are divorced,
and im an only child. Im really close to both of my
parents, but i get along with my dad better that my mom, i
think i argue with my mom a lot because were a lot alike.
But anyway, my mom and i live with eachother most of the
time, every other weekend i go with my dad, who is
remarried, to the biggest bitch in the world. She has 2
kids, chip, my step brother, rocks, but my step sister
just...doesnt. Hes 12, shes 15, im 13. Great huh? Well
enough of my boring family, my school is the best, but my
dad doesnt want me to go there, because its a high school,
i mean it goes from grades 7-12, and im in 8th grade. Plus
im not getting good grades. I swear, he thinks its my moms
fault, riiiight dad, she doesnt go to school, ITS MY FAULT.
Sometimes he can be a dumbass. Hes taking me to some
retarded shrink, even she asked me why she thinks he put me
there, the truth is, i dont know, its dumb! He says i can
just have someone to "talk to" whatever dad. and the worst
part about this chick, is that she doesnt understand me,
with boys, my life, not really, i just happen to enjoy
boyz! and if anyone has a problem with that they can kiss
my ass. too bad i couldnt say that too her, or my dad fot
that matter, he thinks i got started into the BOYCRAZY
thing too early. Ok this is totally off the subject, but i
mean, why do i like my school so much, well maybe all the
hot guys have something to do with it, but all the gorgeous
girls who flock around dont really help.but i mean, im
having a hard time with my friends. I mean, my friend
brittney is the most self centered self obsessed litl
bitch, she thinks shes the shit! ok i'll give u an example,
of her making everyone around her feel bad, ok im a skinny
girl, i admit it, i fit into a size 0, and the best part
is, i can eat anything, no, please everone dont hate me,
ok? its not my fault, but anyway, im walking with her and
her best friend stephanie (who i am really good friends
with, sometimes, i'll explain that one later) and we go to
get lunch, and im gonna get ONE piece of pizza, and i say
it, she says "oh my gosh, your getting pizza? i cant be
seen with you guys" im talking about a girl who gets pizza
like everyday! I know, thats soooo weird huh? but thats
just how she is. Now onto stephanie, i am really good
friends with her, when brittneys not around. and thats
that. Now onto boys, omg! i like this guy, corey, hes so
cute! but hes 17 (im 14) conceited, unbelieveably charming,
but hes only that way when he wants to get into your pants,
hes a player, a wannabe player i guess. Hes fucked like
every girl in my school, but unfortunatly, i found out
about all of this AFTER i fell in love, and unfortunatly, i
cant get out of that retarded, love. Now let me tell u the
whole story. I met corey at the mall, and he totally
flirted with me, a lot, and he was like all over me. So
that was when my infatuation started. But from my friends,
i heard about a lot of nasty stuff hes done and how hes
such an ass, but this was after a while, so then i was a
bitch to him. And there was this one time, i went to the
mall, (he worked @ the pet store) and i was there alone,
and i walked in and he was all over me, then he had to like
clean cages or something, and he said hed be back, i stayed
there, pretending i was meeting some friends there,
(pathetic i know) and then when the store closed i told him
i guess they ditched me and could i have a ride home. He
said sure. But, i was being a bitch, and hes like why r u
such a bitch etc. etc. and i was remembering this rule he
made that he wont do anything with n e one younger than 15,
and while we were in the car he randomly goes, how old are
you? i lie, say 15 of course, and says good. Then later, we
kinda got in a fight, he said i had to prove i wasnt a
bitch, and i knew i didnt have to prove n e thing to him.
So then he kinda puts his hand on my knee kinda in a way of
saying sorry and he grabs my chin and turns it toward him
and leans in to kiss me and since i was pissed i turn away
and im like ewww! get away from me! oh god i could kill my
self for that! i still like cry when i think about it!
anyway, then he goes im done, whatever, im not gonna try
anymore! and i get pissed, and im like corey, u cant be an
ass to everyone and expect people to be nice to you, thats
not how it works, and he goes, im not an ass, i just dont
take anyones shit, and i say neither do i, and goes, fine
dont take it, and i get out and slam the door, he drives
off and i cry. that was a while ago, and i still like him,
ive liked the guy 4 5 months. thats a lot. Then after
i miss him so much, i havent seen him in 5 weeks, i cant
take this anymore! i dont want to like him! but i do. I
want to like a guy who is funny, sweet and has good grades
and hair! Oh, ya, i forgot! that 5 weeks thing is a lie!
Ok, so its been 4 weeks, i was dropping stephanie off
somewhere and i see a green toyota tacoma (his type of car)
and i of course notice it, but i try it ignore the thought
of him. then the car ends up facing ours, and i look up,
and see COREY! he looked right at me, not a glance, a total
LOOK into my eyes. it was weird. and i of course like
froze. my mom went around his car and i started to BAWL!
please help me! email me, give me advice people! anyway,
thats my life so far, along with almost getting pulled out
of school and my bad grades (the important things) thats
about it!
luv ya