madness and death
the only constant is change
much has changed.
have made headway with acid. ride helped clear head, helped
think. acid agrees problems exist, suggested methods and
solutions; agrees moving would be helpful, discussed
much psychology in sex. had sex with acid day after
discussion. had orgasm for first time in many months.
took vacation with acid some days later. not much fun; the
summer maiden and the dark one with us. not much time for two
the lizard has absented herself; familial obligations, etc.
has been positive occurance. less lizard, more acid. the crow
has agreed to do my hair; sweet anticipation. wort out of
town; not good, not bad, is. tori and moon quiet past days;
have talked over phone, not seen. supposed to club/dine with
chiba; maybe tonight. dane not invited.
haunted by memory. feel like character in mathieson novel.
much is same.
wondering if want to be with acid. wondering if want to be
self. not like physical self now. acid knows; has other
things going on in life, thinks absinthe will always be
around. always hurt one you love. wondering if want to be
with lizard. no, don't. lizard represent freedom. want
freedom not lizard. no, not true. want first days with acid
again. going out with chiba good. am absinthe again; not
acid's girl. chiba not want sex; not want anything, just want
go out with absinthe.
want to be me again.