milly

in love with clay
2002-10-29 09:23:43 (UTC)

i love him so much

Clay...he has this thing about saying I love you over
and over again. It just makes me melt. He just stares at
me and he says slowly I love you, I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love
you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I
love you, I love you, I love you.
I don't know how many times but I just melt and I can't
breathe and then we start kissing. Sometimes I just want
to cry because of loving him so much. It's so hard for me
when I can't see him for a couple of days. And now just
one more day before my husband gets back:'(. I can't
believe it has been 4 years that we've been together.
If my husband ever notices what I do or cares, he would
see that often I stare out the window daydreaming about
Clay and that sometimes my eyes are filled with tears. I
always worry that some harm would come to him. Because I
know how cruel this world is. I am not this way when he is
with me but I suppose I think that if I worry then bad
things won't happen to him. That whatever it is won't turn
as bad because I expected the worst.
How could I have lived this long without knowing him?
Well he was born too late or he would have been the one I
married.
My heart is so full of love. When I miss him I read his
letters and I look at his pictures. We took some together.
Even in his pictures there is this warmth radiating from
his eyes, his smile.On one of his headshots he looks so
serious. He has that way of looking older and so serious.
And his hands so warm so strong so beautiful. There is so
much I want to experience with him. He's so open and so
patient. I adore him. It was fun experimenting with the
bath oils and flavors and fragrances. And he never comes
out and says 'I dont like ____'. He wants to give things a
chance. He gave me a foot massage when we were in the bath
and I like that he loves to be touched and held just as I
do.




Ad: