My Life.............
2002-10-29 02:08:33 (UTC)

Got my treadmill today!!!!!!!!..

Got my treadmill today!!!!!!!! its not together yet, it
will be tommorow hopefully..LOL
i had a talk with my sister today, i told her i just cant
handle it anymore,she needs to find a babysitter, and
quick, my days are filled up with exercising, i hardly get
a break, i wake up at 8:45 am, get on my bike for a little
bit, take my slimfast, go up to the gym for an hour and a
half,go for my morning walk, come home, exercise some more
on my bike, then at 3:00 pm i take my pill, exercise some
more, at 4 i eat, then at 5 i go for another walk, come
home, bike again, then at 11 i go for another walk, and in
between all that i somehow find the time to get taylor from
school and watch her till her mother gets home, sometimes i
dont know whether im comming or going, and i told holly
this, she told me to bring tay here, and i said i cant
exercise and watch her at the same time, so, i told her she
was going to have to talk to her boss and get her schedule
changed or find a new babysitter, cause there is no way i
am going to stop losing weight, thats not even an option! I
know she was upset but its about time i come first, Roy
even said its about time you get a back bone.LOL I had to,
its either keep pushing myself or end up in the hospital,
something has to give and im not stopping what im
doing...this has been comming on for a long time but when
my older sister came down here and yelled at me cause i
wasnt watching taylor when Holly was at work thats what
pushed me over the edge, they act like i dont have a life,
i dont go anywhere anymore cause i have taylor, and im so
miserable, its not fair to me, i didnt give birth to those
kids, i shouldnt be the one to have to look after them, i
only have tay, D. goes to his grandmothers, but still.... i
have watched taylor since she was little, because they
expected it of me, and i didnt want to see taylor suffer,
and in all those years i never once got a thank you or even
a couple dollars which would of helped when i had to feed
taylor, I love my sister and niece but a person can only do
so much, and im so afraid i gained some weight back, maybe
i havent, i wont know till wednesday, but, thats been on my
mind, i am so STRESSED out!!!!