lively8845

My Fucked Up Life
2002-10-28 07:55:11 (UTC)

the way i feel

a sudden rage of emotion goes though me when i think of how
im treated and what im been though some people think im
just fucked up but i think there all wrong my parents know
nothin about me im about 2 leave school i cant deal with
all the fucking teachers makin me get in trouble which
cause's stress over the dumbest shit i cant deal with
living with my dad and my stepmom but there is no way i
could ever live with my mom again 2 much shit has happened
there she hates me the only thing keepin me goin is my
little sister if it wasnt 4 her id probally be dead but now
i cant even see her what am i suppose 2 do how can i take
back all ive done and all thats been done 2 me most people
will not go though as much shit as i have in there whole
lives that ive gone though in 15 years somes my fault most
isnt the only thing i have ever been blessed with is my
little sister i love u kayla i dont know where 2 go from
here what am i suppose 2 do am i suppose 2 just let ever
thing slide and take all the shit i dunno cuz rite now im
about 2 crack i need someone 2 talk 2 i mean josh helps
alot but its not always enough maybe a girlfriend would
help alot i like someone but they already know if that
doesnt work then i dunno where 2 turn when someone meets me
fo the first time they dont think that im like this they
think that im always cheery and in a good mood but when im
alone i often think of all that has happen in my short life
i couldnt end my life i dont have enough courage 2 scared
of hurtin my friends and kayla my family wouldnt care but
w/e fuck them im always yelled at that im not makin an
effort 2 talk 2 or 2 care about my stepmom wll thats there
problem cuz i dont give a fuck what they think i dont wanna
be the one with the effort cuz i could live my live and
turn 16 and leave and never talk 2 my family again i mean i
would call my mom b4 i would do anything major but she
would just blow me off and that would make me want to leave
even more i hope my little sister realizes that im not a
bad person that i have just had alot happen 2 me and gone
though alot i dunno what 2 do so w/e




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