SimplyMe101

My Incredibly Boring Life
2002-10-28 00:21:38 (UTC)

Lost

I am so lost. I know not who I am or who I be. If that
makes any sense at all. This whole homecoming process has
driven me into a state of depression. Y did I have to buy
that dress? I could be going to the movies with my best
friends! I am not pretty, or outgoing. I will never get a
boyfriend b/c I am to snobby. My whole social group is
Amanda and Brittany. What happened to me in a year? I think
I have driven myself into some type of anti-social
depression. I am never who I truly am to anyone b/c who I
truly am is someone that is even worse than who I appear to
be. I don稚 understand any of this. Is it high school that
did this to me? Who knows. I have a vision of myself in a
lesbian bar in 20 years, my only companion a set of bongos.
God help my soul. I have, in this lonely state, totally
emersed myself in abstract literature and music. One of my
favorite companions has become my flute and the sheet music
of Joseph van Eyeck, a blind church composer. My literary
views have been changed by moving books such as lovely
bones by alice sebold and angela痴 ashes by frank mccourt.
I recommend these novels to those ready to change their
view of the world. One day I will find someone who finds my
views on life but until then I thank the few that have
listened, or at least pretended, as I expressed to u
corners of my true beliefs. God bless. 10/24/02




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