Scenes from a Marriage
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2001-08-08 15:24:36 (UTC)

Wednesday, August 8th

Well, he talked to the lawyer yesterday who is doing the
paternity thing and they are going to get another 30
countinuance so the test results get in. He had called
Public Aid and they said August 21st will be 4 weeks and
they will not know before then. So, I agreed with the
condition if it comes back positive on the 21st he will
leave the house and let the divorce go through without any
problems at all. He agreed, so I have to wait another 13
days to find out anything, again my life goes into hold.

I told my mom this morning of course she was pissed off.
She said she will never understand me. But, then again I
wonder if she ever has understood me, how could she not
have noticed how depressed I was during high school and
after, was it just because she was in that kind of mood she
thought everyone should be? She says she is sorry if I was
and she didn't notice, but as many medical problems as I
have had that have been treated, was it just too
embarrassing to say she had a daughter being treated for
depression? Even now, she tells people that I am going
through a horrible time with my husband and she can't
believe the things he has done to me, she will not admit
that it might somehow just a little bit be my fault that I
have DEPRESSSION. Is that so hard to understand? I mean
yes I finally have the job I want and a great salary, but
there are other things in my life that haven't gone right.
Having a hysterctomy at 30, having surgery again this year
for my stomach to save my teeth, all the medical problems I
have had.