the seeker

comfort in my own skin
2002-10-27 05:45:24 (UTC)

my happiness

today im glad because i got to know more about myself this
weekend, and i found out stuff about me that i really do
like. like how i actually love comedies, and that theyre
almost the only things i watch when i do have the time.
like how i really really loved the garfield and friends
cartoon show, and how remembering the old episodes make me
laugh out loud. like how despite my obstinate cheapness, i
love spending big bucks on me for something special like a
book i really like. it makes me happy. like how i love
constancy in my life, how i enjoy every night when im just
glad to be curled up in my bed while listening to music
from my cd player, like how i love sleeping in my room.
yet, i love the uncertain feeling you get from the newness
of situations. (i am one of those people who, when they
realize theyre going on a trip, feel as if they would do
anything to stay the way they were, but when they do leave,
never want the new feeling to end -- is this normal?) like
how i love old classics, frank sinatra, dean martin, sammy
davis jr., ella fitzgerald, and the beatles. like how i
love talking to people about significant and silly things.
like how i love talking to people about their views on
relationships.

last night, while listening to the beatles, i saw my ultra-
conservative mother crack-up and dance. it was the first
time i ever saw her really dance. it made me happy to be
able to make something for her that she really liked. it
made me happy to know that there were somethings that we
both liked. and it made her more of a person to me.

today, i found out that despite my fears of being the most
selfish person in the world, i love it when im able to make
my friends happy by giving them exactly what they need. i
bought my friend who'd just turned 23 and is suffering from
worker-burnout a jumbo coloring book and crayons, for days
when she doesnt feel like growing up. and she actually
loved it. im just glad.

i hope more weekends are special like this. i wish i
wouldnt forget this feeling.

i wish the world a weekend as happy as mine.


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