Self harming dyke
Back out of Moliere.
Sorry to have been totally quiet for so long. The last time
I wrote, things were hell again. I tried to get help that
night, but got turned away from an A&E when I went saying I
was in crisis and so I decided to drink. Bought and drank a
bottle of vodka, cut my wrist then next thing I remember is
being in a police car. I was stopped from jumping off a
bridge by a passerby who called the police. They took me to
a hospital for the night where I was assessed and calmed
down. The next day (20th August) I was transferred to
Moliere, the hospital I spent 2 months at earlier in the
year. I left there last Tuesday after another 9 weeks.
I am in the UK for a week, but going back to Brussels on
Wednesday. I am to see the psychiatrist from the hospital
twice a week. I am very relieved about this.
I have now lost a total of 4 stone and feel much happier
with my figure. My BMI is around 20 and I look much better
than with BMI 29!!!
Thanks for all the messages from those of you who are
reading this diary. I hope none of you have given up on me
since I haven't written for so long.
I am currently not cutting, but not counting the
days/weeks, just concentrating on not doing it - trying to
think about my impulses rather than reacting on them. I am
mostly worried that I will take my sleeping pills in one go
after I return to the empty flat in Brussels. I have been
prescribed a lot of very strong ones which I have asked my
parents to look after at the mo, but they won't be around
when I get back. However, I do get to see the sexy and
lovely Didier Moulart twice a week, starting 9am on
Thursday! Maybe he can look after my pills. Transference.