i suck
2002-10-26 01:14:17 (UTC)

this is your only way out

sorry im obsessed with a page i made and im not gonna shut
up about for a day or two...

dichotamus key:
10: The Last Castle
the name means it was the last glamorous thing in my life.
11: Act One
12: represents everything that he made me realize before we
went out
13: getting trivially angry with a phone. and out comes the
temper i never knew i had.
14: a party...the times i could get away from him and how i
would get so stoned i wouldnt remember anything that
happened. being woken up by the guy i was cheating on him
15: i didnt know who i was or where my life was going when
i was with him.
21: Act Two
22: when i would go crazy because i couldnt see him or talk
to him
23: he had me on a leash
24: it makes me feel so good its almost degrading...and he
did it on purpose...
25: i wish we stayed friends
31: Act Three
32: leaving for months without saying anything, coming back
and blaming it all on me...
33: if you say this is dramatic filler one more time ill
kill you
thirty four says the most and i feel it is the most
important besides 35 (thats gonna be put on too...)

theres no point in romanticizing every last word.
( here's us on a rooftop. )
and here's to you.
a boy. a fucking boy
happy anniversary
im so fucking sorry
its a day before.
this is what keeps me up the most at night. the clicking in
my head. a thought with a picture washed out and glorified,
romanticized, i dont "day"-dream. its night, and my eyes
arent even closed much these days.
maybe someone will snap their fingers in my face to pull me
out, wish me luck, i might get a hug out of the situation,
and then im left to my lonesome to resort back to the
shaking mass ive begun to call samantha. this is the hell
that is my life...and even though my standard response to
anything is 'im sorry', dragging yourself kicking and
screaming through your own memories is not a crime.
and i dont want to apologize anymore
35: and because theres NO beginning there will never be and