Faerie Onyx

He... still loves me too...

In my entry entitled *~I love you more than you know~* I
addressed someone who was -- and is still -- very
special to me. Two weeks or so ago he IMed me, and
upon being asked who he was, he responded, 'the
stupid guy.' I happen to know many of these, however,
so I said, 'which one?' and he said, 'John.'

He told he that the only reason he *broke my heart* was
because he was immature and stupid. Now he claims
he has matured over these few months, and he does
love me. I don't know what to think. Last time I saw
him, he had a girlfriend, but she broke up with him after
6 days. I am afraid to think that the only reason he is
talking to me now is that he is afraid of being alone.

I don't want to be hurt again by him. I don't want to be in
the position that I can let him hurt me. I can't let him
hurt me again!

On the other hand, I met someone. He met me at the
fair, and then we talked afterwards. He told me that he
was in love with me. Honestly! I liked him a lot, and we
started going out, but he was too old for me, so we
were forced to break up by my mother.

While this was going on, I met his friend. The guy (let's
call him Brian, shall we?) told me that he would kill me
and his friend (let's call him Taylor) if we ever went out.
Brian told me that I could date other people while we
wait for me to turn 18, and he would date other girls.
He also promised he wouldn't kill anyone I dated until
my 18th birthday. But Taylor and I have been *talking*
and we both like one another A LOT. Taylor broke up
with his girlfriend for me.

I just don't want Brian to hurt Taylor severely... I was
talking to *Sam* and he promised that he and his
friends would hurt Brian if he ever tried to hurt me, and
that they would protect me if I want to go out with Taylor.

Taylor has promised me that he will ask me out. He
wants to do it in person so that he can see my reaction
and whatnot. He does want to go out with me. I want to
go out with him more than anything right now. At least
for the moment I don't need anymore heartache.

Taylor has a reputation for cheating on people. But I
want to go out with him anyway. I want to give him a
chance to prove himself. If I don't give him a chance
then I will never know if he would have hurt me or not,
and I will never know if I could end up loving him. It
could be better, in that case, that I not give him a
chance, but I want to give him a chance, and I want to g
out with him... At least for a little while.