2001-08-07 20:39:51 (UTC)


Once again, I stay away and stay good for a couple of days
and where does it take me.. straight into trouble. I'm
about to swear off women entirely and enter a Tibetan
monestary in the Himalayas!

Met up with Starfish on Sat. night-- we were simply gonna
have a few drinks and put whatever it is we have in
perspective-- well, we had our few drinks and we talked
ourselves right into bed. Yep-- we finally had sex.. and it
was AMAZING! She's as good (and likely a bit better) than
she boasted and either has perfect muscle control or has
been doing her Kegel work for 10 years! I promised her I
wouldn't tell anyone any details about it, so I'll even
leave them out of this entry as well-- problem is, with
Starfish as it was with Crusadah, no birth control. Both of
us thought about it, we both mentioned something to the
other (although it may have been her elbow or knee or heel
that I was whispering to-- we were all over the place), but
neither of us wanted to stop (or slow down for that matter)
enough to actually put her diaphragm in or slip a condom
on. Once may not have been so bad, but I woke up after the
forst time to her blowing me-- I don't like to come in her
mouth, so I asked her to move. What I didn't expect was
that she'd climb on top of me and take me inside her at
this point. The reason for asking her to move was so that I
wouldn't come in her mouth-- but wound up coming inside her
anyway. Basically, I had sex with her once and have about
400-800 million little "me"s swimming around inside of her---
seeing as how excited I was, and how long I'd been trying
to avoid her, it's probably closer to 2 billion.

Thus, here's my dilemma--
1) Protestah (my girlfriend) and I have already lost 2
babies to miscarriages in the last 2 years
2) Crusadah (recent hook-up) was in prime baby batter days
when I left my genetic calling card at her cervix
3) Starfish (JeEz! The Talent!) was at an unknown point in
her cycle when there were TWO shots fired into her... but
only got to take her once-- that's not fair!

So, overall, let's recap...
1) I'm cheating on my girlfriend numerous times, numerous
ways, with numerous people
2) I've slept with (and possibly impregnated) 2 women that
I really don't care about for anything more than the area
between their shoulders and knees
3) I feel undeniably guilty about my actions, but can't
stop doing things again and again

Which leaves me with this haunting thought-- I move in with
Protestah, we have a child, and 2 years from now both
Crusadah and Starfish show up at my door (at the same time)
each walking a pair of twins by the hand (runs in my

Yes, that would serve me right.. I won't dispute that fact.

Any thoughts/ideas/input from anyone?

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