Thoughts from Blue Angel
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2001-08-07 17:44:50 (UTC)

IV's and Ex's

I'm feeling kinda silly at the moment. In fact, I'm down
right wacky. Sunday night, my mom had to take me to the
emergency room with a kidney infection (ouchy!) and they
gave me some medicine that made me really sleepy, and it
still hasn't worn off. Talk about no tolerance for drugs!
I hate IV's because they really suck, but at least it took
my mind off the fact that my side was hurting so badly.
Could anything else go wrong? Well, I guess it could.

Sonia hooked me up with Ray, a guy who comes in all the
time, and I guess that's cool. I found out last night that
he was planning on asking me out anyway, so that makes me
feel better. As Leah and I would say, he's not exactly Mr.
Perfect material, but it's just one date. He called me
last night, and we talked for a long time. He just got
screwed over by a girl he was engaged to for 3 years or
something, and she's all he talked about. The basic story
was ok, but I learned WAY more than I wanted to know. I'm
not sure whether that's better than a guy who doesn't open
up at all or not!

One week and two days. That's all! I SO can't wait.

I could finally eat a little bit on Sunday, but with the
kidney infection and all, well... I won't go into that.
Let's just say it didn't get digested. I ate yesterday
just fine because I was too zonked out to feel nervous, but
now that the medicine is finally getting out of my system,
I'm getting that feeling in my stomach again.

Did I mention that there are only nine days left before I
leave? YAY!

I'm not really sure what to think about Ray. He seems cool
enough. He talked about how he was always a "prep" in high
school, but it's hard for me to imagine since he and his
brother always come in wearing nasty dirty work clothes.
Maybe I'm just being extremely shallow, but maybe he just
reminds me way too much of Elijah. It shouldn't matter how
popular he is or was or how well he dresses, but it does.
There's a difference between being working class, not
having a lot of extra money, or being borderline white
trash. Adam doesn't have a lot of money (much like my own
family), but he uses it wisely and has nice things.
Grrrr... I'm going to be comparing guys to Adam for the
rest of my life, I believe.

I think I've reached a point where I want to be shallow.
As horrible as that sounds, I need someone who's going to
make me look good. Of course, that's not all I'm looking
for, but I am looking for it. I never had the chance to be
really popular in high school. But as soon as I walked
into that frat house with Adam, I was automatically
accepted by this group of really cool (and really hot)
guys. The other girls I saw there weren't overly pretty
(or overly skinny); they were just cool. I really want to
be accepted like that when I get to school. Connections
would help A LOT.

I'm just really nervous about the whole thing, and things
keep going wrong, but I think if I can make it through the
next two weeks, I'll be able to get through just about

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