My Thoughts and Feelings
2001-08-07 15:13:32 (UTC)

fear of being happy

Well, I actually think I might have found my problem. I
think I am afraid to really let loose and have fun. I try
to avoid situations that sound like fun, for the fear of my
own self conciousness. If I do actually have a good time,
I analyze it so much, that I end up finding all the flaws
in it that I have convinced myself otherwise. I am now
trying my best to do all of the things I think might be fun
and actually have a great time doing it. Also, I let other
people's opinion (only those that are close to me)
influence my decisions. I am going to try to stand up to
that from here on out. Basically, I am in a rediscovering
process. I am trying to enjoy and get the most out of
life. I am tired of being unhappy, I'm ready for my sun to
shine!!!! :)

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