I have become comfortably numb
The Way I Feel
There are absolutely no words in the world right now, to
even begin to explain how much Jeremy means to me.
Yesterday, was a extrodinarily bad day and I thought so
much about my brothers and why it happened, and I started
analyzing everything that happened the days they both
died. I was thinking about what I could have done, and
what the hell I was doing now. I must have done something,
or be doing something wrong at this moment in my life to be
experiencing so much pain. I thought that I was just going
to feel this for the rest of my life, since I would always
be without them. And then low and behold, I see Jeremy
today and I just, I can't quit smiling. Just his presence
in my life and him just holding me and being with me today
made me so happy I just wanted to cry. All of my life I
have felt like dying, and then when I got something good,
it either ended or I just couldn't trust in it enough. But
with Jeremy it is different. I trust in the things he say
so much, b/c honestly, with all my heart and soul, I don't
believe he would ever hurt me. It's like, my eyes have
been opened to a whole nother life that I never knew was
out there. I never knew I could be happy. But now I am.
And I wouldn't give up this feelin, this love or Jeremy
period for anything in the world. I love him with all my
heart and soul. More than words could ever even begin to
try to express. And the best thing is I know he feels the
same for me.
Till next time. I'm gone.