2002-10-24 03:58:16 (UTC)

thank you.

went to the waffle house tonight.

i worked on deviant behavior.

i am hungry.

i am so thankful for him. its incedible. i love him so
much. and i owe him so much.

our friendship is the only constant that i have ever had.
when my family went away. when girlfriends left. etc.
he was always there.

ive been calling him a lot recently.
a whole lot really.

whether im in a good crazy mood or when im bad. it doesnt
matter. he always talks to me. and supports me.

a beautiful cycle. of strength. and support.

i love him so so much.

im really happy that i get to go there and see where he
lives and everything.

i remember when i moved out of our neighborhood. we went
on a walk one day when i was packing. i was sneaking out
to have a cigarette. and he came too.
we went to the secret lake thats not so much a a secret
really. and we sat where we used to play and fish with
andreas and mark and jackie. we sat there and we talked
about how i was leaving. and how it wasnt a big deal
because it was just to the neighborhood behind ours. but
how it was. cuz i had never been that far away. if i
needed him i couldnt just walk. i would have to drive. and
how that was a big issue. and now i find myself years
later calling him when im in a completly different city.
hours and hours away from him. and ive come to realize
that it really doesnt matter where a person is physically.
not at all. its still the same as its always been. without
any questioning or anything. just pure friendship.
pictures of jerry the clown and my birthday party with his
red hair and overalls. learning how to ride bikes without
hands and rollerblading. ringing door bells and running.
the guy that set his back yard on fire. me reading books
and not talking to anyone but him in middle school. him
getting in trouble SOOOO many different times because of
me. lol. god. i feel kinda bad about it. but i can still
laugh. the beach before he left for texas. red lobster and
free desert because i couldnt stop crying. the picture i
have of him in the mirror he gave me. taneshas obsession
with him. band with dr whatever his name was. talking to
me no matter what people said about him even when jennifer
stoped. summer school at dp eating lunch with summer and
getting lost on campus. him bringing me a wendy's frostys
at work. him believing in me...when every single other
person in my life walked out. every one. but not him.
never him. buying him and sandy lunch and bringing it to
that pool where they worked and sitting there all day with
the two people i loved most at the time. me yelling at him
for smoking a cigar. his graduation. my graduation. my
yellow fish he gave me. the way he got when i was in the

i really think that unless donie is still alive when i get
married, he will be the one to walk me down the aisle and
give me away.

i wouldnt be here remembering all of these things if it
wasnt for him.
i wouldnt have done more than half the things i have done
in my life if it wasnt for him.

i am so thankful for that boy, man now i guess.
for my shaun.
so thankful.