DeterminedWanderer

Songs in Ordinary Time
2002-10-23 22:20:19 (UTC)

Listen as she speaks...

So, if anyone reads this and feels as if i'm not sliding
into this online diary thing as awkwardly as most, its
because I already had one. Anyway, it got too dramatic and
I started getting fan mail. Not cool. There were people who
were addicted to my ranting about girls and how I was
betraying while being betrayed. So, this is a fresh start.
A new leaf, so to speak.

I had a panic attack today. Right in the middle of the
hallway at school. I hadn't had one since Mary's ( my ex-
girlfriend) graduation. And the only reason I had one there
was because I'm claustrophobic and was forced to sit on old
bleachers with a gazillion other people.

My sidekick, David, tried to tell me this was all a result
of my breakup a week ago. I dont think he's right. Liz and
I were madly in love until she decided she needed the
freedom to fuck Christine. I mean, I understand where's she
coming from. I'd rather break up with my girlfriend to fuck
someone than cheat on them and have to feel guilty.
Besides, Liz still has feelings for me and we see eachother
just as often as we did when we were together. I actually
think she got more hurt in the end than I. Shes the one who
burts into tears everytime I tell her I love her. She just
needs to grow up a little. monogomy isn't her thing yet.
She's still the love of my life AND an amazing person.
Also, I have the sense to realize that there will be OTHER
GIRLS. I mean, I'm young, my life doesn't end here.

Anyway, just to clarify, I'm female if you haven't figured
it out. Yeah, I'm gay, and Yeah, I'm sarcastic.

I think I'm going to go drink some tea and lay down for a
while. Its just been one of those days.




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