My Psychotic Ramblings
It's Been Weird........Now I Must Travel From Sea to Shining Sea and Find my Missing Parts.
To-day, well, since... errr, well, fuckit. I don't know. I'll just
put it simply: It's been weird lately. But I don't know
how long this has been going on. It's like I woke up after a long,
long nap. I think it's weird that I was having troubles sleeping
again. I never did figure out what was causing the difficulties.
But maybe since I got some sleep last night and yesterday and the
night before I'm just now realizing the weirdness of myself and my
life. I feel weird. Something isn't right with my body. It's like
I don't have one. My body seems to have been...misplaced, or
something. I'm walking around without a body....walking? Hhmmm,
it's more like floating around. Or just moving about with a
thought. I think it and I'm there...sometymes. Sometymes I just sit
there and think I'm incable of movement. Well, the other possibility
is that parts of my body are being stolen, possibly when I'm asleep.
I'm growing weaker and weaker. It's hard to think. It's hard to
move. I have no motivation. But I did go downstairs and clean. I
notice how Jackie left to go out of town for a week or so and just
left the house a mess. So I made a pot of coffee... Coffee, yes, I
hadn't had coffee in AGES. It's weird drinking it again. It's like
I'm living in the past. Like I'm that kid again, the one who drank a
pot of coffee in the morning and one in the evening and got yelled
and threatened over and over again about it. I'm not in the
present. I'm in the past. And I'm slowly dying...but I can't figure
out for sure why. Maybe my new therapist will be able to provide an
answer when I talk to her Friday. Anyway, after a couple of cups of
coffee I cleaned the kitchen, laundry room, dinning room, and entry
way... And I cleaned my bedroom this morning. So much for that,
though, the room is already messy again. I need to sign out now and
travel about the world to make find my missing parts.