2002-10-23 01:58:57 (UTC)

like a shooting star, he shines...

I havent written in a long time..
I've been really busy and happy, yet still feel like life
is totally passing me by.
I'll be 19 in a couple days. And it doesnt seem like it at
all.. it's going so fast, my whole life seems to be... soon
we'll be the oh so significant 25 and married.
Hes great.. and things are great.. and fucking, I deserve
it. I've waited so long and taken so much to get here.
And I'm not guna fuck it up. Even if it means leaving
everyone else virtually behind - which of course, it did.

But Atlanta was fun, with Alli and Dawn.. Ani of course was
great.. Everything is so fucking symbolic though. Like the
cold weather - this time of year, last year... well fuck
her. She's a fucking bitch. A crazy, fucking bitch.
Pretending she doesnt still care about me, like I cant see
through it. Like I dont know her. And treating me like
shit, when this is NOT my fucking fault. But fuck her.
Everything though, reminds me of something. And I just
want to leave here. I want to fast foward a couple years,
we're both done with our AA and we're off - to Gainesville
he says, wherever.. out of this town and away from all
these memories.. too many people and things to run into or
be reminded of. And I have to leave that behind. I HAVE
to. He and I will never work if I dont.

And so I will.