poeticgem

My sometimes coherent thoughts
2002-10-22 00:38:14 (UTC)

Standing my ground

IS NOT ALWAYS EASY! But it's because I haven't that things
are the way they are!

Chantelle's report card - F U/U IN MATH; D U/U IN ENGLISH;
D S/S IN HISTORY; C S/S IN SCIENCE; (NO GRADE FOR ART
ELECTIVE); C U/S 'Does not complete assignments/tasks P.E.
and for HOMEROOM/BEAR C U/U! She has been telling me that
on Thursdays she wants to stay after for TUTORING in her
math class, but by her grade etc. it doesn't appear to be
doing any good. I told her that that what showed effort
was the grades in work habits and cooperation and it
appears that in two of her MAJOR subjects she is not
demonstrating either good work habits or cooperation in
addition to her poor academic skills.

Initially I told her that when she went back to Millikan in
order to stay there could be no U's or grades under a C in
any of her classes, however, when I saw this report card I
gave her the choice of having no interaction with friends -
i.e. no phone, no computer, no going out on weekends, no
hanging out after school etc. -and only 1 hour a day of
music for the next month (or two whichever I DECIDED) or
transferring schools immediately. She, of course, wants to
stay at Millikan so she will have no contact with her
friends for a while (at least when she's here at home!).
Furthermore, if the next report card does not show
significant improvement, I will be transferring her to a
school in Glendale. Between now and the next report card I
have time do research into schools in the Glendale area.

I will also be calling the school tomorrow to set up an
appointment/conference with each one of her teachers to see
exactly what the situation is with her and what we can do
to help her improve her grades and overall work habits.

What really pissed me off more than anything is that she
called me this morning at Harry's (using a friend's cell
phone) to tell me about her report card, but she was
goofing around with her friends (SPECIFICALLY BOYFRIEND,
ADRIAN!) and they were all laughing (making her laugh) at
the time she was telling me about her report card grades so
it came off like she didn't take the matter seriously at
all. To make matters worse, she had the nerve to use
the 'f' word when describing how she felt about one of her
grades! Then, when I picked her up from school she came
and gave me a big hug (which is a VERY RARE thing indeed
these days!) and asked me if I was mad at her. As much as
I wanted to hug her back and tell her I loved her, I
didn't. Instead I told her not to play games with me ...
she was totally acting as if nothing was wrong and when I
let her have it in the car she got all pissy and acted like
I had no right to be giving her the third degree.

I realize where this non-chalant, no big deal attitude
comes from ... but no matter where it's coming from or why
I AM NOT OPERATING THE SAME WAY ANYMORE. This is a new day
and I'm operating in a new way! So I'm standing my ground
and if she doesn't like it, TOO BAD! She can't just keep
thinking that serious things like this are 'no big deal'.
Better she be a bit unhappy now then completely miserable
later on life when she's stuck working 9-5 in a crappy job
at minimum wage because she didn't think school was
something to be taken seriously when she was younger!

So that's where I stand right her and now! Damn it sure is
quiet here in this house without her radio blasting ...

Please God help me to stay strong and do right by my
daughter ... keep your watchful eye out for us both and
your hand over my daughter's heart ... thank you and amen




Ad: