Alexi

Im not thinking, just doing

I realized today, that when I do things, I'm
not thinking about what I'm doing. I could run
infront of a car going 80 miles per hour and
still not realize what I was doing until I was
laying in a hospital bed. I came close to death
today, I jumped infront of a car going 80 miles
per hour, but I did realize what was happening,
although I didn't care, and you know what diary, I
actually wish, I wasn't here, I actually wish,
that I was still there. My last thoughts when
that car nearly hit me were "I wonder if anyone
will care? I wonder...I wonder...who cares?" I
guess this really shows how pathetic I am, huh?