you cant escape what makes you tragic
2002-10-21 01:21:00 (UTC)

more on my update (lots more)

I'm still trying to figure out today. i've fealt
confused like my sanity is wondering through a labrynth
built of stolen thoughts and ideas. --there solen so i must
handle with care-- Chris and Lauren came over so that was
kind of special but I think they maybe made me more
confused then I already was.
My hallucinations have been getting worse. Jen was
talking about her's on Friday and it reminded me about my
own and so they have been more frequent this weekend --
mostly because from what she said they are the same as
mine. it's like being in a dream and knowing it but still
you duck if a gun is fired becuase you don't want to be
killed. It wasn't Jen's fault that my hallucinations are
worse...She more opend the eyes of a sleeping giant. I
don't think I'll ever be the same.
Most of my dillusions are of a dead person and then at
their funeral... Sometimes I know them, sometimes I don't.
The only thing that's consistant is that they're so real
it's scary. I can feel the tention in the air between the
people that don't really want to be there and the ones that
are trying not to cry and the ones that gave it up and are
sobbing like children... I can see all lthe people clearly-
with all the details- as if i were really there.Today one
dillusion has really been bothering me. I was outside in my
front yard and I looked at the tree on my neighbor's
property and there was a girl hanging from it (dead
hanging). she is relaly farmiliar but i can not place her
face. There was blood dripping from around the rope (that
she was hung with) and it was in a lightning-like shape.
I'm not going to forget it until I remember who she is.


Now the control is gone It seems unreal, she's dreaming in
digital...your pixel army can't save you now -Orgy (dreams in digital)