John's thoughts
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2001-08-06 02:53:36 (UTC)


Cool my first entry! Well, rather than being really boring
and marvel at this online diary, i will get right down to

Funny how dense us guys can be. Well, not funny, i wish we
weren't. I never brought up my going into the Marines with
her... She would always ask me about it. Questions like:
"so...you are going in 2 months?" I wonder if telling her
that I won't be going at all will make a difference. Make
her think... I hope she does like me. Hopefully the reason
she hasn't opened up much is just because she is kind of
shy and because she doesn't want to get attached to a guy
leaving soon. On our second date things were good until i
dropped her off, she let me in the house for a moment and
then she was like "good bye, see you later" and walked off
to her room. Maybe she doesn't like me. Maybe i am fooling
myself. Maybe there really isn't more to her like a
think...maybe she is just not too into having deep, open
conversations. Maybe i should fucking stop saying maybe. I
tried to go over to work last night at her lunch, but she
went with her mom somewhere. And this morning she wasn't
very talkative, but then again, she had worked 5-2am and
then worked 10am-7pm. I hope when I go to bag for her
tomorrow I can get a chance to mention my decision to not
go into the Marines. Maybe she won't feel as
guarded...maybe she could fall for a guy knowing he will be
around for awhile.

*sigh* i will finish this after i freaking stop having to
deal with this incredibly shallow girl, Christine online.