chaoticxpression

my simple small world
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2002-10-20 19:10:33 (UTC)

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WHAT HAVE I DONE?????????????
what am I doing?what am I gonna do?
it's all happening with no direction....
I never knew feelings like this were out there.
I feel like I better understand heroine useage and suicide.
That maybe I seriously have no purpose and no hope.
I wouldn't mind just killing myself....
I'm serious.This isn't a cry for attention since I'm not
saying it to anyone.I doubt starfish reads this anymore so
I don't think anyone will ever know me saying this.
Just everything would come together if I killed myself.
And alot of peoples lives would benefit in the long run.
Draveia wouldn't be going through this, and would get over
me in like a week, though I don't think he'd shed a tear.
Chris would wake up from the nitemare of my wraith.
Richard......would just be better off.He's the only person
I think would be sad, but his life would be so much better
without me and without this.He doesn't need this as much as
I don't...
All the knots would be gone...and in my mind that's as good
as untied.
The headaches would stop....
I might get to see Nathan then too...
The only thing that's keeping me alive is my baby.But I
keep having all these thoughts..
we're I just want my soul to leave....
but I'll try to keep it together for my baby...
though I can't ignore these feelings...


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