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2002-10-20 18:09:25 (UTC)

Homecoming weekend....

Friday night Tricia Beth and Kristy came up which was an
awesome surprise! We went to Max's. and hung out there for
a while.. Sara and I stayed around for a while thencame
back to towers.. about a half hour later,Max and Josh
showed up.. It was pretty fucking sweet to have them up..
Max made a fool out of himself in front of Ogom from
downstairs and it was actually one of the funniest things
I've ever witnessed!!!!!!!! No joke... anyways I went to
bed at about 5.. and had to wake up at 8 to go to work for
my first day! After work, Malyssa and I stopped by Max's
again.. and stayed there for a while.. when i got back we
got a call from matty sayin ghe was outside... IN MIKE D"S
NEW FREAKING CAR! A nissan 350 Z or something like that
lol.. I cant rememeber but its silver and its hot! So
Matty came and picked us up at 9 and we went to The
apartment.. After hanging out there for a awhile, we
decided to go to this other party.... We drove allt he way
there and couldnt find it and drove around for like a half
hour trying to find it.. Matty almost ran over 3 girls!
Anyways we finally got to the party and it was prettty

I was kinda bored though so I called Dan. And I am so
happy I talked to him. Becuase i was so upset that him and
i were on bad terms. I love him, and i just dont want to
see him hurt. But maybe trying to protect him is being
more detrimental rather than helpful. I just cant bere to
see him hurt, and if he gets hurt... I WILL HURT SOMEONE!
I honestly couldn't want a better friend, and although im
so worried for him i have to chill out...I know i am
pathetic and i need to move on, and get over leaving home.
But a part of me just wants to turn around and stay in
suffield forever. I just don't think anyone could
understand how much Dan means to me at times. And I dont
know what to do, cause so much has changed it will be
hard... but i know we can get through it.

After talkign to him, I talked to someone else from back
home.. And it was so great to hear him, although he was
quite drunk...hes just as funny and charming as before
haha... and WE DECIDED HE's going to go to school after
hs... and thats the greatest thing i've ever heard. andd I
admire him more than ever just for considering it! And i
regret some things ive said and wrote and done. but i cant
change the past.. but im here to change the future.. and
id do almost anything to get back what i so selfishly
lost... cause i dont know if i can feel the same way about
someone again. But whatever makes him happy, is what is
going to make us all happy!!! I love these boys and miss
them so much everyday.... and for a while i didnt think
about them, but seeing them recently made it all come into
play.... And i know im not always the best friend i could
be, but i try and love these people alot... and refuse to
watch them hurt.. well i cant change it but it sucks
hardcore... Its just so great to know that these people
really havent changed.. and i realize that now. So perhaps
I have nothing to worry about...

When I was talking to Dan, I told him my one biggest fear
of laeving for school was lossing everything i had worked
hard to obtain.. And for a while that fear was my
reality... I had lost them all,,, and even Dan. But slowly
as i learn to chill, i think that i can get them back..
Because alls i want is to be able to come home and chill
with the 4 coolest guys in sufffield,, along with the 5
awesomest college chicks around... I am so lucky..

Another problem is with someone who has gotten into a bit
of trouble with Matty and got pucnhed.. but listen, i will
not justify any actions by this person. But its not always
him, and i can assure you, its the stupid ditsy drunken
girls who start nearly everything... and its no
justification, but its i dont know.. im sorry cause im one
of them

Well Next friday tricia is coming up and we are going to
chill her the next day we are going home to watch the boyz
show. Then after we are coming back to uconn for the
night... Everyone reading this diary better attend. AND I
i promise! and i want to whole world to see these boys do
what they were born to do... its at the southwick
skatepark at 2! Come see story of an hour.. I'm serious

Anyways,, after we left the party we came back here and
Matty got us screamed at by one of our hall mates, because
hes so LOUD! then he trashed our room.. but anything for
Matty.. THAT FUCK TRIED PANTSING ME! haha oh well... i got
him good.. Matty also attacked me and sara... it started
with him attacking her and i thought it was hysterical
then he came at me.. NOT COOL! well he finally left, and i
had had such a great night and was so happy and at peace
that i slept the best sleep of my life.. until at 530 i
hear knocking on the door.. it continues for like 10
minutes... turns out its MATTY! and he thinks he lost his
car.. lol got to love the kid.. so he makes me go with him
to find the car and go get 20$ worth of Hot Pockets for
his brother! lol.. who loses there car? oh ya matty! haha.
well anyways.. I'm so happy he was here. I love him alot
now, and im so happy we are friends..

Finally i got to crawl into bed... and sleep a beautiful
sleep with the best dreams.. Only to wake up and HAVE TO
STUDY ALL DAY!!!!!! ahaha procrastinations a bitch.. oh

welcome to my world people.. feel free to stop by whenever!

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