for show and tell
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2002-10-20 11:46:52 (UTC)

Something beautiful..

First it was dirty.. A horrible, horrible night it was. I
saw a horrendous thing and rage just filled in me. I was
so angry. The world was so ugly then; just grey and brown
smeared together.

And tonight, I saw the moon.. Full, bright, and beautiful,
glowing with the sun's eminence.. I feel so poetic.. _O

I'm not going to change gears because the world is bad. It
just is. Anything else is stupid. He does not sleep for
the fear of the world will melt before him (Jhonen
Vasquez). What happens happens. It's the way the world is
designed. If the world melts away, live with it. Be
grateful at least you don't go with it, or worse yet,
can't remember anything because your memory was swept away
with it.

Jesus didn't say, "I am cool because I say" or "I am
shweet" or "I am me". He said "I am." He is. It just is.

I believe the world comes as it comes; it is what it is. I
believe in the chaos theory; anything can happen. We, by
our own cruel devices, shape the universe, and what we
can't do we don't bother with because we can't. It just
is. You are too small to change it. You are a grain of
fine sand to the universe. You are dust in Father Time's
gears. Mother Earth sees you in a blink of her eye. You
are nothing, don't worry. You're nothing big.

And, less down, yet up..

The moon's glow rose a feeling in me.. It was so strange.
I felt cold, so I grabbed my wings and held them close.
What was this feeling? Was it the lucid insane moon trick?
Was it just the tradition of it? Was it just me? I felt so
good, yet so bad, and it made an aweing ring of feelings
in me. I stared at the stars, and nostalgia fell upon me.
I knew there, in those stars, laid the answer of
everything. I couldn't get there, but I knew it was there.
Perhaps a journey to a star may kill me. But if it does, I
will make my best exit with the truth of the universe. I
fell asleep under the moon.

Shweet. I really did get all poeticy from the moon.