Timothy

Jack's Twisted Kingdom
Ad 2:
2002-10-20 07:05:59 (UTC)

an end of an era..

the era is over...

it's been a year and more, since I last kissed my first true love...

it's been almost 3 days since I talked to My Goddess of the Sky and
she came over...

it's been more than 6 weeks since I have still held this job of
mine...

So, what now?

I gave my number to kris, who won't call me, I won't give my new
number to My Goddess of the Sky, because she would call me...

I figure if the swimfan called me for more than relieve her own
boredom, I would have a heart attack, that, and I think I freak her
out... I know, I make her uncomfortable, to a very strange extreme,
and I can't talk to her about anything, other than the usual BS...

I suppose if I saw the goth, I would just mumble something about
wanting to see her, and then, tell myself to forget it, that she's too
young, (go figure, I think tess might be too mature), and I might find
myself wondering what I am doing, and why I am doing it...

The most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life, sit's beside me
at work, I can't describe it, I want to touch her, diveinto her mind,
and bask in the light of her soul. I get weak, I get these urges that
just make me mental when I look into her eyes, or she speaks...

I think, maybe I should just make some sort of major changes...

What though? fuck me if I know...

I got an apartment, finally, now all I have to do is manage to keep
the job, and not piss anyone off anymore than I already have...

I don't know why... but I feel as though the people whom I call my
friends, (the swimfan included) when I call them, it's like I am
forcing myself on them...

like, they really don't want anything to do with me, but out of some
bizzare feeling of guilt, or simply being weak cowards, won't say
anything and keep going on, under the pretense of being my friends.
until some point where I do something to piss them off and they can
feel better about telling me to piss off...

Sigh...

I really have to stop feeling sorry for myself... I really do...

Well, things will be as they will...

So,

Here's to a new Era...

May Loki Bless Me and all my endevours.....


~T~


Ad:0