poeticgem

My sometimes coherent thoughts
2002-10-19 15:52:58 (UTC)

WOW, WOW, WOW

GOD REALLY DOES PROVIDE ... WATCH OUT FOR US (ME!)

NO, I haven't found a job, but I got an unexpected check in
the mail from the unemployment office in addition to my
regular compensation! UNBELIEVABLE! It almost seemed to
good to be true!

Yesterday, Harry took me to cash my check at his bank and
while I was there I got a money order for November's rent,
so we are covered for NOVEMBER! What a relief! I still
have to take care of my bank problem, but I have enough to
pay at least $100 of my $200 phone bill and the entire
electric bill which is $185 ... I have a few other bills
which I'm going to see how much I can pay and then I will
see if I have at least half of what I owe the bank to get
that matter cleared up ... the cable bill also came in and
that's a biggie that I should put some money aside for also.

Then, of course, there's Chantelle's birthday NEXT
WEEKEND! I still have no clue as to what we're going to be
doing because discussing it with Chantelle is like PULLING
TEETH! My dad and sister will be coming in on Saturday
night and I've decided that celebrating with the family on
Sunday before they go back to Arizona is going to be the
best timing for that aspect of her birthday ... I doubt
Harry's going to want to do anything for her because of the
way things are right now, so all that's left is to figure
out what to do as far as her friends are concerned. If she
doesn't come to me by this afternoon with something to
discuss then I will just have to make the choice myself as
to what to do.

Her overall behavior and attitude of late haven't been
exactly all that impressive and since attending my first
group parenting meeting on Wednesday, I've finally made up
my mind that there's no room for screwing around anymore!
I HAVE TO GET MY MOM ASS IN GEAR - I HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH
and I HAVE TO GIVE HER CONSEQUENCES and I HAVE TO SHOW HER
WHO'S BOSS! I learned so many thing at the meeting on
Wednesday, so many ideas and new methods to try, it's
already been quite liberating even though I've only had a
few short days to utilize and/or incorporate some of those
new things into my behavior. Because I CANNOT CHANGE HER
BEHAVIOR, I CAN ONLY CHANGE MY OWN and in changing my own,
therein other changes will follow (HOPEFULLY!)

Also a great help to fall back on is that consequences need
not be made known AHEAD of the game! Just the fact that
there WILL BE CONSEQUENCES is enough! Consequences are NOT
MEANT TO CRIPPLE, THEY ARE FOR MAKING THE CHILD'S LIFE
UNCOMFORTABLE AND INCONVENIENT! THE UNIVERSE IS WIDE OPEN
AND AS A PARENT I HAVE THE RIGHT TO GET AND BE AS CREATIVE
AS I WANT WHEN CHOOSING/GIVING A CONSEQUENCE. I already
have tried the WALKING AWAY instead of PLAYING INTO her
arguments ... I can see me becoming quite successful at
this with time. It's a bit hard right now, but I just need
practice!

So, as a consequence for her LYING TO ME last week about
her report that was due the Friday before and why she
didn't turn it in on time - then telling me she lost it and
was afraid to tell me about it - (getting a call from the
teacher was the only way (reason) I found out the truth!),
and for wearing make up on several occasions despite the
rule that she's NOT supposed to, and for SCREAMING at me at
the Post Office and in front of the Halloween store
yesterday, I did not allow her to use the computer last
night and I am not going to allow her to go out with her
friends tonight. She doesn't know about tonight yet, but
taking away the computer for a little while is NOT a
sufficient enough consequence for her to realize the
seriousness of her actions and behavior.

She's going to be pissed off as hell, but another thing I
learned at the parenting meeting was that if your kids hate
you when you discipline them, you're probably doing the
right thing! So, today is going to be fun to say the
least - hahah!

Well, we're going to church tonight so at least I won't be
stuck here the entire evening with her moping around ...

Harry thought I should beat the crap out of her for lying
to me, but I don't believe that will resolve or solve
anything - so needless to say he's getting more and more
frustrated as far as being pushed to the outer circle where
Chantelle is concerned!

Ok ... I've got a mil things to do today!
Go to the post office
Get money order for Chantelle's gifts I won on EBAY
Pay the phone bill
Go to the dry cleaner (get Chantelle's pants hemmed)
Straighten the house
call my dad regarding next weekend
go to church
(if time movies? this afternoon)

THANK YOU AGAIN GOD FOR WATCHING OVER US AND PROTECTING
US! HELP ME TO BE CAREFUL WITH THIS MONEY AND SPEND IT AS
I SHOULD NOT AS I WANT! thank you and amen

ciao for now




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