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2002-10-18 21:35:24 (UTC)

baby tell me how hard...

so ive gotten a lot done today considering my meeting and
my class were both canceled.
this whole big mall thing is gross.
its all over the news and radio and its just disgusting.

i layed out today =) yup. im a bit browner. hehe.
my white ass isnt so white anymore.

i went to dennys with jessie.
shes so cool i love her so much.

my dad is insane.

i wish emily would have come here this weekend.
i know its probably better considering that i work both
days and shes driven here a lot recently and whatever.

but if she ends up going to georgia next weekend.

itll be not only a long time that we dont see each other.
but it will also be the first anniversary that we dont see
each other.

its no big deal i know.

its just.

whatever im a dork and i need to get over it.

she just called me.

i miss her so much too. i think sometimes she doesnt
realize that. i just cant be thinking about it so much
anymore you know. i cant be dwelling on it. because...its
not something i can do anything about. and...if i
concerned myself about every little fucking thing that
shes doing or with who or when or whatever you know.
i would be how i was the first few weeks she was there.
and i would be miserable.

i cant live my life like that.
it comes and it goes yeah.
but i guess ive just filled my life with as many
distractions and whatever else that i possible could.
so that i am at a point right now where i AM okay.
you know.

shes distracted all the time. you know. i mean being where
she is...its inevitable. and im not bitter about it. im
glad you know...im glad that shes happy there.
sometimes though..its like she remembers. not that she
ever forgets...but sometimes it just hits her. you

she just called me again and i dont even know why it made
me feel like shit but whatever

she wanted to come here. and i want her to too. but, i
cant help that i work tomorrow you know. i can drop pretty
much everything else for her. but thats something that i