Ann

Why start a diary?

Hi! My name is Ann, I am 28,and am starting this diary
today, 10 pm on Aug 4,2001. Why am I doing it? I want to
write down my feelings, sort them out, improve myself. I
hope to have a baby before I am thirty. I haven't started
trying yet, but I have been considering it trememdously for
the past year.I am almost ready. I'll probably be
ovulating this week, but I am not ready yet, maybe next
cycle ( I've said that so many times!). My husband is about
ready also. He is a bit nervous as well, which I would
suppose is normal. We have a good relationship, and honestly
hesitate changing that with a child, even though we want
children. Every time I see a screaming kid at Wal-mart, I
question if I really want to do this.But I know I want
children, and I would like to be relatively young and let my
kids know their grandparents and at least meet their great-
grandmothers, who are already 83 and 95.
The scary thing is the unknown. I'll never know if I am
infertile until I try to have children. It would make me
mad--think of all that money wasted on birth control!
There is always the money issue and time issue. There is
never enough of either. I want to raise my kids and not put
them in daycare. I am a nurse, so I can have a flexible
schedule.I hope to pay off some debts by then so I can
mostly stay home. I do enjoy my work, though.
I hope this is not going to be one of those drawn out ttc
(trying to conceive) journals. I really don't want to have
to try a long time. Only the future knows what it holds.If
anyone has any comments I 'd be interested in hearing them.