Digital Hippy

One Thing 'Bout Music When It Hits Y
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2002-10-17 18:01:21 (UTC)

C hapter 2

Your name should still be Raven... but it has a new
meaning. This is my first entry in my new diary... the
long overdue beginning of a new chapter of my life. The
last chapter exsisted @
http://www.diaryland.com/billybuggie. When i began that
entry, i was a confused and depressed little shit and now,
here i am 3 years later, a lot more stable, happy, and
with actual goals and ambitions. Back then, raven ment
darkness, and death. Both of these virtues were very near
to me. The turning point here, is the obvious climax of
my jumping off my roof after a long spree of cutting and
vomiting. To this day... that song... Last Resort...
still gives me chills. Now Raven has taken on a whole new
light... more like Ravin... like the verb to rave.
I am a definite party kid though i don't like to admit
it. My roots still hold strong in rock and roll...
especially the Smashing Pumpkins... but they remind me of
the hard times in my life, and now i just want to be happy
and have fun... so i have gotten more into electronica and
the whole "Rave" scene. I have met a lot of awesome
people, learned a lot about life, and a lot about myself.
I have been exposed to the world of drugs, that have
allowed me to open my mind, and become a more creative
person, while learning the extremes of self control and
seeing true definitions of gluttany in other forms.
I have dated guys, and i have begin to be able to
think of myself as a sexual human being... even though it
takes a lot. I am a Freshman at Temple University now...
but in my mind... i am still the little girl in pig tails
dressed up as a penguin drumming on a coffee tin marching
around the coffee table. I am still the innocent little
girl who wrote notes to every family member... "how are
you doing? i love you. i miss you. ~Lauren" under their
pillows before bed. In reality... this is no longer
true. I have seen more then many 50 year olds. I have
experienced more, and for these experiences I am
greatful. For the boring days of watching TV and the
unity with my awesome friends and the most exciting days
where everything goes right and there is just that feeling
in the air... for everything... i am grateful... and that
is how i would like to start this diary... heres to the
new chapter of my life.


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