you cant escape what makes you tragic
2002-10-17 03:48:40 (UTC)


(its 12ish wednessday night so its dark and all the lights
are turned off and im in my royal blue bathrobe drinking my
2nd coors light)

Arg! I hate everybody sooo much. the last few days have
sucked beyond compare. nothing has gone right, i forgot
about my spanish project, i failed 2 tests and (!!!!!!) my
mum is a spyco bitch that won't leave me the fuck alone!!
it is impossible for me to win (at life) now-a-days. last
night i was so discontent i tryed cutting my arm but i cant
even do that anymore. all i ended up with is some scratch
marks that didnt even bleed! what the fuck!? its so
depressing when a person can't even cut themeselfs

today especially my mum was taunting me about
letting me get my own apartment. its horrendus the way we
are. besides....its not my fault she doesnt have the smats
to raise a kid (let alone 3)right. im just caught in the
middle of all this shit and i want it to go away. when i
grow up i hope to make a huge bomb and blow up all theses
stupid inhabitants and let existance start over from
scratch. maybe next time fate will get it right.d

chris emailed me today complaining about him acting weird and all
this inner conflict shit he is going through. it made me feel bad b/c
i know just how he feels--i feel like that every day. the only
difference is that im not on meds (yet) b/c i dont wanna be. america
forces weakness upon the unsuspecting populus...we think we have
problems but really we just have nothing better to do then sit around
and make ourselfs feel bad. things like depression, anxiety, bi-
polar...all that shit is make-belive crammed into the minds of many.