Endless abyss of nonsense and sorrows
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2002-10-17 03:12:02 (UTC)

Oct. 16 - AHHH!!

Another Feeling of Exhaustion
Another Feeling of Emptiness
Another Feeling... of Lonliness
Why do I go through this?
Why must I be so down?
When I bit myself yesterday.. and I bled... it almost felt
good... to bleed...
i scare myself

I just want to get out of this... out of here...
i want to escape...
be with a friend...
i just dont know.

Maybe im so grief stricken is because im at school...
I hate school
oh so much

I dont know why i get like this.
I just feel so exhausted.. my heart wieghs heavy in my
chest as I feel it work to pump blood through my veins...
The musles at the side of my neck are throbbing... they are
exhausted for some reason
once again, my fingers work with all their strength to
reach the appropriate keys...

Emotionally... i feel hollow. I dont know why.
Its that feeling i get, right before I think someones gonna
tell me something bad
the feeling i get when i think someone is mad at me
the feeling i get when... i know a heartbreak is coming...
my heart... aching... my soul.... empty.... and my
stomache, wrenching as though i havent eaten for days...
where is this coming from?
am i some sort of freak?
who knows... all i know is that im 15
most 15 year olds dont worry about this stuff.
they think about guys
slumber parties
where is my happiness?
as long as im talking with someone...
im fine.....
as long as i feel like,
if i left, someone would notice,
and miss me...
then.. im fine... for the most part

its just sometimes.. i feel...


have i scared you yet?

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