Ad 0:
2001-08-04 12:15:48 (UTC)

2nd round.....

Well, I emailed Leroy saying goodbye to him. I don't think
I'll see him before he leaves. I also cried some more. I
guess that's all I needed to do to get it off my chest. I
still feel depressed about it though. Like, if he came
along today and wanted to see me and we get to kissing or
whatever, then I couldn't do anything! My lil friend came
to visit me for a few days....:(...but I guess it's a sign
to tell me that what I wanted to happen shouldn't happen. I
guess it's all for the best because I know the emotional
spin I would go into. And I know how I would worry myself
to death about it. If I do talk to Leroy today, then I just
want to get every lil thing that crosses my mind off my
chest. I want to ask him to go to the prom with me and I
want to tell him that I love him with all my heart. And
that I don't think I'll ever find anyone to match me like
he did. Because everyone knows that boy had me. I want to
tell him that if he goes on to find himself in and out of
relationships, then I'll be here for him always. I don't
mind being the girl who is always on the sideline for him.
I want to tell him that I belong to him. That no one else
will touch this, but HIM! That I'll save myself for him.
And that if I find myself in love with another, which I
don't see, then they won't get it because it's HIS. I want
to tell him that forever and always that he will be in my
heart and I'll never forget him. Because he is the one who
captured my heart when no one else could. There's so much
that I want to say to him, but don't know how to put it all
into words.

I definitely feel a lil bit better than I did earlier. I
know the whole day is going to be rough for me. I'm going
to fall in and out of this feeling. But Jocelyn, time will
keep pressing on without Leroy. Right now it doesn't feel
like it though. But I know it will. I have faith in myself
to know that I'll make it through all this pain. I have
faith in GOD, most definitely, that I'll make it through
this. I know it's going to hurt for a minute, but I'll make
it through. I have faith that my love will forever belong
to Leroy. That he will be the only one who made me feel the
way I do. If I ever met someone who matches the way Leroy
makes me feel, then it could never compare to the first

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