redstarfish2

No Matter How Hard I Try...
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2002-10-16 19:46:53 (UTC)

just as bad

Today was just as bad as yesterday
***
The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right
beside them knowing you can't have them.
-Unknown

I got that from a friends diary. It really caught my
attention. And this morning I definitly felt that way. I
hate this. I really do.
***
"I hope that you're happy,
You really deserve it,
This will be best for us both,
In the end...
And I starve,
I starve for you"
~Dashboard Confessionals

I guess I just don't understand. What did I do? Is this
best?
***
Conditions are fragile. Loaded words are on deck, ready to
fly. If you shoot first, what are your chances that the
other person will hit back with something even worse? If
you don't want to go there, it's best to say nothing.

Yeah, like that'd person ever take the time to stop
avoiding me. He doesn't LOOK at me anymore. I didn't do
anything. I told him we need to talk. That's all. My friend
Carlos said usually "we need to talk" means it's over or it
will be soon. But, it this case, the guy knows that's not
what it was at all. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO BESIDES CARE? I
HATE MYSELF FOR LETTING THIS GET TO ME!
***
Looks like I am still where I was yesterday. I came up with
a word. I am disappointed. Not sad, or angry. Disappointed.
At least with that word I can be both sad and angry. *sigh*
I hate feeling this way.
***
I had a horrible stomach ache and head ache last night so I
went to bed around 10. *sigh* It was best anyways.



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