ramblings of a madwoman
i am something deeply metaphorical, yet i cannot be
conveyed in such words. i am not an iceberg floating
solitary in the frigid arctic, i am not a fish without a
school. i am not a bird that has remained north during
i am only me. i am never alone, yet i am so alone. i have
all i need but desire all that i do not yet have. i hurt
where it is so difficult to heal, to touch and to repair.
i am an volatile concoction of conflicting emotions. my
highs are dizzying, my lows, all-encompassing. the orange
pill bottle remains an enemy of mine. i will not succumb, i
will not rely on the artificial.
but how i already have. so much that is fake keeps me
afloat. so rare is there substance to what i hold close.
except you. and you... the rest of you. my people. my
friends, my lover. how much you matter is immesurable.
to you who holds half of my soul, i crave you like i never
thought possible. all i have of you tonight are pieces,
little parts of you that do nothing but tempt and torture.
the smell of you that lingers so lovely in fabric, a memory
of your hands, your voice. how i love you.
it seems no matter how much i hurt, i can still see that i
love, am loved, need love. love you all. you keep me