2001-08-04 04:43:10 (UTC)


Not suitable for under 18 to read this.

Hi my other Diary!

I don't feel comfortable writing on this diary. I have my
own online diary ,and it seems weird to have another one.
But, well, I am feeling like writing here tonight anyway.
For you that doesn't know anyhting what's going on i'll
tell you quickly what have been happening in my life:

I am married, I have 2 kids and 2 boyfriends. Wait, let me
tell you what's going on before you call me bitch...
Well, I am manic-depressive, I have OCD,ADD and some other
psycho things. Yeah, my brain works in a weird way...
No, I am not saying this is an excuse to have 2 boyfriends..
Ok,I have a high sex drive and, well,that thing was killing
me and I had to have somebody else to "fulfill" that part.
HOWEVER, as I am latin (tropical blood)I am a little, you
know "volatile".I fell in love for my lover...deeply.
Brad is a higly intelligent journalist,sexual,intellectual
and wonderful. Perfect for me.
We used to have passionate sex 25 min here, 45 min there, 3
or 4 times a week...
Brad was getting sick of my busy life. He found a "real"
girfriend "Susan".
Well, I asked him if he could ask Susan for a three some.
She said NO WAY and told Brad to quit seeing me.
He didn't of course, since I am way better than her.
Meanwhile, my depression was getting everyday worse. I had
to start taking anti-psycho drugs more often.
Till the moment Brad chose Susan and told me by e-mail to
fuck off...
I didnt' accept that, and I ran off to his house.
There, when we were in the middle of the fucking, he said:
"no, karen, i love susan". go home.
yeah.....he did that on the middle of the fucking.
I had a depression crisis in front of his house and I
started to cry so loud, that the neighbors were starting to
look through the windows to see what was going on.
I ran off to my car and I drove to the beach. I wanted to
kill myself on the sea....
I didnt have energy to do it.
it wasn't because of the sex, it wasn't because of susan,
or brad, or husband or fucking else.....
It was because I was feeling a loss....

I wrote all the details on my online diary.
Brad read and asked me to forgive him.

I posted an ad on the net looking for friends and traffic
to my web site (everybody that writes wants to be read).
From this ad I made some very good online friends and one
very special one.
This one called William became my best friend and lover.
Brad is jealous of William and vice-versa.
Now I love William. Brad has Susan anyway...
But yesterday William wrote me telling me he wanted to end
up our relantionship. He said I was too complicated for

I can't divorce now. I am in psychiatric treatment and the
doctor said I must wait a while till I feel oonfident to
live a normal life.
Now I am psycho, with 2 lovers, with a husband I like but I
don't love and unhappy,unhappy...


If you want to read the whole story go to:


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