Endless abyss of nonsense and sorrows
2002-10-16 05:03:38 (UTC)

Oct. 13

Um... wow... um... i just got the most shocking and
devistating news that Ive had in a long time...
My mom and Bob are talking of getting married in the
this means we move
and.. we wont live in the same house as i have my whole
i guess its kinda cool and exciting.... i dunno though
im so usure...
other than that i had a pretty good day.. i woke up,
packed up tim, and headed off to church... Austin was
being really nice, and seemed happy to see me... i was
happy for that. When I asked if i could come over, he
said yea.. but wait for a minute cuz he had to clean his
room ^_^ haha what a dork. i got to his house and back
to his room... we hooked up tim to DSL... oh its nice...
i want it sooooo bad. Anyways... we ended up watching
ice age on his computer. I love that movie. I was
leaning up against him most of the time.. .just chillin...
i miss that... i wish that i wouldnt have screwed up the
first time... i miss hanging out with him so bad....
Anyways... afterwards i just watched him go ape over this
new Alienware computer that he might get... oh he was so
excited... it was funny actually
At about 4 Matt and Leah picked me up. We went back to
matts house and watched "Blow". I fell asleep for some
reason, about halfway though the movie... i woke up to
leah asking matt if he had a black marker to make designs
on my face. what wonderful friends I have. After the
movie, and calling my motha.. we wandered down to Cenral
Park and just talked... i talked a lot about how i wish i
had memories... i think they ended up thinking i was
weird. We just sat on the swings or layed on the grass
for about an hour.. just... talking. it was actually
really relaxing... but... i still felt empty, cause i
couldnt tell them everything... how i felt... i want to
tell someone so bad.. but im scared to... im sure ill be
able to tell someone someday...
Well, after that mom just picked us up (leah and I) and
ran us to walmart (we got candy) and then we took leah
home... on the way back from leahs house is when i got the
news that Bob was talking about getting married in the
spring...... i still dont know how to take it....
well, i think im gonna get to my homework now... and go to
i have school in the morning... : (