Lost Again

Living Hell/Let me go
2001-08-04 02:19:50 (UTC)

Losing My Mind

Today was awful. I was supossed to board the plane to go
to TN to see my family today and I couldn't get on the
plane.I would have had a stop in GA but I knew if I went
that my plan to see my family was not going to happen. I'm
to suicidal. I had my plan worked out to die, but, Damian
found out and he threw a fit. Called my step-mom and told
her now she is so upset. Damian was furious with me. I
don't blame him I know that he loves me as I also love him.
He doesn't understand the pain I feel with losing Brianna.
I feel though as if she needs me and that she is so alone.
I know she is dead, but it hurts so much to be away from
her.I don't know who I am anymore. I can't think straight
and I don't feel so strong anymore. Damian says things will
get better well I wonder when?? If this is the way it will
be then to me it's not worth it. I know I'm pregnant and I
have Damian too, but sometimes it just isn't enough.